Sick of....

So I have been sick since last saturday.. I had a sore throat and felt like CRAP. Now I have a
headache and runny nose..I am sick of being sick!
O I didith havith a blast over the holidays. Lol I miss my brothers and sister.
It was 80 degrees here yesterday! Amazing

Jesus,Gifts and plenty of visting!

Happy Birthday Time to Jesus!!
He is so magnificant for what he has done for us and I love him for it! Thank you for coming to this earth .
This Christmas was so amazing! I was crying becuase it was almost over..this year has been very emotional. Alot of different things have gone on in the past year..Some good some not so good..but never anything more than we can handle.
I could finally get my kids exactly what they asked us for Christmas. I was so done with shopping by the 3rd..And then I kept shopping! The kids had an AMAZING Christmas!Christian and Abbi wanted Ipods,Angie wanted a Dora Mermaid doll, Lyman a Nintendo DS and Big Lyman well he got a new Hitachi Portable drill.I truly love giving! My Brothers and Sister came down! I got to see my nieces and nephews and give them little surprises . My mom, Me and angie made some sugar cookies for Santa last night. It was a ton of fun!!! My kids gave me presents which they bought with money people gave them for christmas..how sweet is that?I got a Lotion,dream catcher ,little glass timbles,an address book,some cool socks that soothe my feetsies! My husband Bought me a new can opener an under the cabinet one and a HUGE griddle.
I told all my friends and Family Merry Christmas ..I found out some good and bad news...
My friends David and Vicki are having a BABY girl!!
My oldest friend in the world Charity ..Her grandma died monday ! I have many memories of her and her grandparents..She will be greatly missed! Charity has always and will always be my bestest friend in the world!
Lyman talked with Barriett and Ray.They are all doing well and had a great Christmas!
Ang's mom didnt even try to call her.We texted kayla a couple times to tell her Merry Christmas and We loved her.
I am still saddend by the end of the holidays...But a new year does Cometh!
This will be our 16th New Years ..Even when we were apart I know we still loved each other and I know He thought as much about me and I did him. God is wonderful for second chances!! He knows just what we need! I needed and still need my husband! Anyhow a New year brings new goals...I am thinking serously about that going back to school thing and I think Lyman is going to try to do some online courses! We will see ! PRAISE GOD for JESUS ! MERRY CHRISTMAS JESUS ! MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL OUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS!!!

Big family christmas 08

We had my brothers and sister down this weekend! It was awesome except ~ got sick with a sore throat! Which sucked! There was 32 people at my house most of the weekend. The food was great,Tree was beautiful and company was great. I always miss my brothers and sisters when they are not around! It is like we have not changed only gotten older.. My mom stills cries when We leave.
Angela brought her honey and kids..jason will be going back to iraq in feb. We were all happy that he came! They are a trip lol make me laugh. My sister is a good mom even though she doesn't think so!
Lauren brought his clan . He is still a trip ! Cut his arm pretty good cutting open his sons gift! Remember cut away from you! His family is great and really growing . They are looking at building their new house in four years!
Chad had his bunch down . They all opened their christmas early .He IS SWEET (sometimes) lol and tried to get them the one thing they want the most each year! I think logan and robbyn are going to come live with him soon.
My mom and dad well they just get a kick out of everyone being together.
The church was amazed lol We filled up three pews! Well more later need rest now!

The Results are in.....

I AM NOT CRAZY YET!!!..............We recently aquired some death insurance...They came out and drew our blood and YEA we dont have any funky diseases... lol but we do according to them have high Colesterol..No one told us to fast before this test. We have just eaten breakfast two hours before which were eggs,sausage with toast..Hello our colesterol is going to be high! But anyways we are healthy as we know it! on to other business...I am just going to type some random thoughts today.
My kids..How much I love them and only want what is best for them.
My husband and how he worries about this trucking .How I beleieve him to be a wonderful dreamer!
Angie how she was doing so well at school and yesterday she threatens her teacher ..but she is still doing so much better than she was when I wasnt around.
I am truly concerned for my nieces and nephew..I was to cry out !They do not deserve what has been handed to them..They are just kids.
How do you get cranberry in hemp lotion? lol
Sometimes I feel overused and underated!
The house is clean and I should be making curtians not blogging.
I can also be doing laundry a never ending job...
how come no matter how much you try to forgive and forget you never really can?
I hope my brother can handle what he is about to take on and stand up and walk right!
My mind works all of the time ,but sometimes my body is just to tired to handle it all!!
Coffee gave me the jitters this morning..I miss my friends ..Especially Albert, Sammy and hope ..I miss my youth when I was 14-16...Great now I have drove myself into crying I do so dislike when I do that ..Austa la vista BABA

CHA CHA TEA

I AM REALLY CRAZY>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Today was Productive as usual! I love it when it is cold out side (sometimes but not always)..I have an excuse to use my Culinary skills! If you can call them that.

I made some Bearden Hot "cha cha" tea today . It goes really well sitting by the fire snuggling with your family. Most people call it red hot tea..But as we all know I am different as I should be lol

I also made some Hot Cocoa-MO , Yummy yummy...made for a great after school re-warming drink for the Icicle Yard apes .

I was doing all this after I put on a nice big ol pot of my chili per my husbands request...It was smelling nice all the day long! The little baby cornbread loaves will be tasting with the chili!

Other notes and things going on in our lifes...Christian just got done with a big BB tourny. They did really really well..Expectations to be District champs. Abbi and Lyman have been having choir concerts and more to come this week....Yea Abbi made it through her concert without laughing..Her voice was very pretty! Angie went on a field trip to the omni plex to see polar express she saiys she had a BLAST! Things are going well just busy times as always..My husband is a great handyman and fixing everything on my huney-do list!! SOmetimes I wonder how I can stay so busy without collasping..but I JUST DO!

PLease continue praying for my family .. We are always in need of good prayer! Thanks and Have a Blessed Day tomorrow !

CHA CHA TEA and ME

Today was Productive as usual! I love it when it is cold out side (sometimes but not always)..I have an excuse to use my Culinary skills! If you can call them that.

I made some Bearden Hot "cha cha" tea today . It goes really well sitting by the fire snuggling with your family. Most people call it red hot tea..But as we all know I am different as I should be lol

I also made some Hot Cocoa-MO , Yummy yummy...made for a great after school re-warming drink for the Icicle Yard apes .

I was doing all this after I put on a nice big ol pot of my chili per my husbands request...It was smelling nice all the day long! The little baby cornbread loaves will be tasting with the chili!

Other notes and things going on in our lifes...Christian just got done with a big BB tourny. They did really really well..Expectations to be District champs. Abbi and Lyman have been having choir concerts and more to come this week....Yea Abbi made it through her concert without laughing..Her voice was very pretty! Angie went on a field trip to the omni plex to see polar express she saiys she had a BLAST! Things are going well just busy times as always..My husband is a great handyman and fixing everything on my huney-do list!! SOmetimes I wonder how I can stay so busy without collasping..but I JUST DO!

PLease continue praying for my family .. We are always in need of good prayer! Thanks and Have a Blessed Day tomorrow !

bUSY bEARDENS

WOW ..I have finally found time to sit for twenty minutes and write in my blog today! Christians Papa is down from the panhandle..he has been going to watch her in the BB tourny..It has been crazy and long! They have been winning , They beat Caton, thursday,El Paso Socorro friday,And grapevine last night and playing Bowie as I type...Then they have another game either this afternoon or tonight for Championship GOLD! this is a huge Tourny...over forty teams..they have been doing really well and we have Great coaches and BB team. I am home becuase Lyman and Abbi have Orfestra and choir concerts all day today..I am excited to watch them ..Lyman has been working really hard on all of this and even has a solo part ! Abbi well we will see if she can not giggle this time...I will report on that later! lol A lady ran over our mail box the other day ..they are just now working on getting it fixed..Actually we were going to this church and I was enjoying it ..Until this lady came and talked to angie getting all up in my business ...SHe just made me feel all uncomfortable about being there(at church) I felt her FAKENESS...and I was feeling guilty for not taking the kids back to the youth program there..well That was the lady that ran into my mail box...come to find out she is ONE of the cars that runs my stop sign and speeds up and down my road ALL of the time! She was suppose to fix the mail box that night which was Wenesday and they are just now getting to it..Not very good at holding her word..I think God is showing me that it was okay not to go back..Priase him!!

Choir, Christmas spirit and ruby red slippers

My family will be having their Christmas here on the 21st..I am totally excited! I have a turkey/ham.I am needing help with some cool new ideas for appetizers and such! I love cooking for my family...It makes me feel needed. That is alot of the reason we eat at home more than we dont..Christmas was not my favorite time for a few years..but now it is like a flashing set of bulbs went off around me !My husband is actually going to hang lights for me?? EEKKKK! with excitement! I actually have ruby red shoes, christmas earrings and ready for the holiday! I am not going to let anyone damper my cheerful spirit! So any suggestions for anything would be appreciated!
So we will have turkey and ham with the fixin's. The normal Pies and such....I want Michelle's Cherry PIE! HELP
Last night we went to Abbi-girls choir concert! I can tone others out and just hear her sing..her choir teacher wants her to try out for varsity choir next year,but I dont know. Abbi is really really shy. She has this coping mechanism of giggling when she is nervous...so She starts giggling last night on stage! Choir teacher was upset I am sure. Abbi is a giggle box! she really cant help it, but we explained she has to bite her lip sometimes... It was fabulous except we sat there for alomost 3 hours to hear her sing in two songs? I was disappointed that I didnt get to hear the Soprano come out of her for the high notes in the last song..because she has been an alto and just recently been promoted! We could however hear her giggling lol well off to begin my day of taxi mom! Feliz Navida

Just Crap

I was really trying to have the heart God wants me too and taking advice.

To set the record straight that way when all comes around Kayla can not say we didnt try to be involved with her . More with her than they are with Angie...

I have been texting /talking to her about coming to see us since December 06.. Well she had told us numerous times that she would be coming .Just to let EVERYONE know we really want her to be a part of our lifes. She is the missing Bearden

We have been trying to help kayla out with clothes , moral support and such.Been telling her have a good day, we love her amd miss her.We did things for her that her mom didnt time to do or would not do so says she... We have texted maybe Six major times and all were when she wanted something only twice when she just wanted to talk. I just listened gave advice and told her that her mom was right for the way she was doing things . She needed to listen to her mom becuase she was right. I never bad mouthed her mom to her at all. I still wont to her! I bet she does about us to Kayla! I asked Kayla to take that stuff about her dad being a JURK off her myspace. She can keep the stuff about the mom and brother, but she doesnt know the story . If it was all so fatastic why did she move to her moms? She has a Sister here that she never talks to but holidays and birthdays,A Step sister she was raised around, A half sister and half brother. So yes it is slightly offensive..but it is her Choice! THis is my blog!

She had been 'seeing' this guy who is 19 and in the Marines. She texts me last week to say she doesnt want us to buy her anything for christmas but would I please please buy this guy Micheal a weeding band off of ebay. I say what does your mom think of this 'my mom would freak out' . so we start talking about if they are getting married or engaged she said no ..but we are not up there around her to know the truth(she has been lying to us constantly) I talk to her dad and he says we will not be any part of this..I tell her and all of the sudden she is mad . I tell her I dont like being to go to gal she texts everytime she wants us to buy something. Well that set her off as to then she is not ever talk to us again..I Texted her mom to make sure she knew what kayla was up too. Which I was told by her mom that not to encourage the relationship she was trying to discourage..Hellooooo anyone know me well enough to know I WASNT ! I was discouraing her from the time I found out..But her mom let her go to the prom with him being that much older than her amoung other things ....SHE SHOULD HAVE DISCOURAGED IT FROM THE BEGINNING! Kayla invited us to her choir concert a couple of weeks ago..I figured she was over the ring. I asked her today when her choir concert was so we could check the calendars to see if we could attend...'I don't want u to come anymore bye' I say'just becasue I told you to quit texting only when you want us to buy something? I am not going to kiss your hiney, you have broken alot of promises to us,I will tell dad bye' She says'Whatever stop the bullshitim not stupid or six years old ! I havent broken any promises!! The thing on myspace is for stacie nd austin and amanda ' 'I wont take it off it doesnt say anything bad' I say 'Kayla do what you want I dont care about that anymore. what about the times you say your coming alomost every holiday and then find something else to do..if your not six then do act it! and dont cuss at me little girl!! if you do them just dont talk to me anymore...your dad didnt break him and stacie up she did ..get the full story before you point fingers. i am not going to fight with you like I said they are more important to you. when you want a relationship with us we will be here! 'She says'FUCK YALL BOTH' I tell her 'Its what you wanted in the first place, we love you have a good day' she'Leave me the fuck alone!!! I dont wanna hear that Bullshit anymore! Go the fuck away' I say Gone honey dont text me either please I dont have to hear it either . you dont like the truth abd you would be s far grounded if you were around me your disrepectful but your mom lets you so she has to deal with that dont text me again unless you NEED something.'

I know i was wrong in some aspects but I am not going to put up with that or kiss a 15 yo butt. I have never done it ! that really makes me appreciate my girls more and more becuase they WOULD NEVER talk to me like that becuase they didnt get their way. I was hoping to go to her concert if it was close enough to Christmas let angie stay and they could bring her home.. But I am at the point to where I dont want to do any favors !

I am just ranting , but I will not stand for that action that is why she doesnt come here she knows I will not!! When she is ready to respect and move on then we are here ! We love her and constantly worry about her! God knows she doesnt have any real parental supervision.

This is the day! This is the day!!

Today is the day for the KIMBELLS Museum of ART! Yea!! I am so excited. It is going to be an awesome day..I wish Lyman could go, but it would bore him to death lol He is the scientific person I am the artsy one.
We are going to have some breakfast, get hair cuts , wash the truck and get the grisl from corss country and then off to the museum....maybe I will take the kids to get tattoos today also!! NOT lol It is the most fabulous day!!

Back in the swing of things!

Hi all who read my blog, which is one I think?
I am back into this blogging thing...I got my computer up and going for real this time.I have lots to say and only a little time to say it. Life is Grand back in God's country Texas!!

21/365

Today we all went to the National park...We had fun and found a turtle ,caught minnows and mom could finally not be pointing the camera only at her family....I miss my husband! I cant and dont want to live without him!!

20/365

This other group that I am in is UTATA and they are more of an artistic group..this picture is two different pictures that I took and made One life form . I was proud of this one...didnt take much thought being that We are both PYROs lol ..anyhow things are well and this picture Diptych I am proud of!

April 2Nd 1998

Look how handsome!! My baby is growing up..It was just the other day that I was preparing for him to be born into a family of girls! He is a joy in my life and I love him! He is my brat as his sisters say! I have been pouting becuase he is not my baby anymore! I love you brother Happy birthday!

How to?

Teach me how I add people to my blog,add friends and look for friends and such...I am kinda computer dumb and need special help!

Almost there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

March 31st

Applying for Paramedic down by Fort worth!

April 1st

ABBI my Track STAR!!

March Madness!!

March 27th


walking around in walmart..I seen colors as I was picking out the fabric to make Lyman2 a new blanket! he got camo!

March 28th

Taking angie to go see her mom for the weekend! The sign says stop!!

March 29th


Just wonderful cross! Jesus died for me on a cross!


March 30th


Ironic!!! I love this little car! It is in Chickawsa which is pronounced Chickashay..Shrugging shoulders...We were picking angie up from her Mom this day!

March 25th and 26th

March 25th


I love gardening!! These cups are made from toilet paper rolls. Recycled into seedling cups! They are bio-degradible and in my greenhouse!!

March 26th


Here is the sun! I left my coffee in my cup one morning and came home and there was a sun in my sun starbucks cup!! I started a group on FLICKR called MyCoffeCup..Look it up and join!!!

March 24th

This was a stained glass sun catcher given to me by my son! He bought it for me at a garage sale! He knows I love the shiney sparkly things!! I love him he is so special to me!!

March 22nd and March 23rd

March 22nd!!!


This photo of our yard on the second day of spring! The colors that it have is so beautiful..The photo does it no justice really!It was Kaylas birthday today she was 15..we didnt get to talk to her but we did leave a message!!!

March 23rd


Easter was fantastic! We went to church and then to Easter party afterwards! The kids had a wonderful time!

March 20th and March 21st

March 20th

Well I am a Pig head and Me and my mom were in an heated arguement this day..I kinda yelled at her when I should not have and she degraded me and what not ..so I got mad and left moms...Needless to say I did not take a picture on this day! It was my Middle brothers 34th birthday..I did call him and he had a great birthday!!

March 21st


The kiddos and I decided we were going to go on a field trip! We went to the Omniplex in OKC..We had a blast looking at all the gadgets and what nots to do..WE all love science!!!I took this picture when I was well in the stall..I loved the painted walls!!

Catching up March 18th

March18th





Well I was on vacation at Moms..I took pictures and now I am trying to catch up! The date is March the 18th and 19th
March 18th
I am a starbucks queen...O how I love my Fraps and a good book!!
Starbucks To go window traveling to moms.

March19th




All the kids went to see the BABY donkey! I want one so bad! As soon as we get a place and things I am getting one

Mini Vacation

hey all I am taking my 365 pictures,but I am at my moms and I am unable to upload them....but I will as soon as I get home.

Angie's Birthday Project 365

Today was Angies 17th birthday!We had a good time..She wanted breakfast in bed lol like I received on my birthday ..so she got it!! We then baked this cake together and made frosting and sprinkled it with giggles!! She is a great Kid and Happy birthday to her!! We love you our special girl!

Road less traveled (365)

We did a project in Utata also this weekend of our roads less traveled, I thought I would just make is a duo project for Project 365 also....Then I said to myself "we should love God and Jesus every day of our lives" SO i think this really fits the project well. I thank God everyday for the things he has done and will do for mankind! John 3:16 read it!

365 Project

I since since started taking my aggressions out on taking photos. This project is something that is great for me taking at least one photo a day for a full year that represents that day in my life. Here goes! I started on March the 13th 2008 with this photo


This was Thursday walk 100 ..I of course took off walking around the yard and found this pretty bee ...along with alot if his friends. I snapped his picture and then scooted away pretty fast.
March 14th, Track started!


She did great and ran her heart out!!
March 15th




My birthday is today...I slept in late for a change and then was brought breakfast in bed!!! French toast and coffee!! My husband made the toast and abbi made the coffee! How fantastic are they!! Christian,Angie and Abbi then baked this wonderful cake that you see in the photo! It was funny I have been telling the girls that I am 34 with a remainder of 1 lol so they both thought I was 34!! it was a great great day! my son made me a bear out of clay and a plaque that says happy birthday mom! They are so wonderful to me.

Dont Pay Attention to the Wo-Man behind that curtian

Dont Pay Attention to the Wo-Man behind that curtian......
I am one of those! Yes,a why am I here and what is the meaning to life?I have yet to be gratified with the answer. Some might say my husband,kids and so on ...YES I know all those! The over all picture is why I am searching.I am No one of importance,I am different and unique just like the rest of the world!I wish I could say that I have had some really cool things happen in my life,but I can not. I am a plain jane woman. No living in a fantasy world for me for I am a realist. I do feel at times that I am wasting my youth on the boredom of daily life. JUST existing,not living!OR is this the life meant for me...Maybe I cant deal with too much excitement. MAYBE I AM BORING! If I sit around and have to much time to think..I feel I will go insane with these thoughts..When I know I am a happy outgoing person. I have to much time on my hands.
Sometimes I just feel alot of anger! I want to screammmmmmmm out help me! Why am I angry? I have a good life.
Sometimes I feel lost and hopeless...why I know where I am and where I am going!
Sometimes I feel alot of resentment towards others. Altough I would not even want or need to be them.
Are these just natural human feelings ?
I am not depressed or bi-polar..or even skitz..just a normal average everyday woman needing to be stimulated!

Our Greatest Fears.....

‘Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond imagination. It is our light more than our darkness which scares us. We ask ourselves – who are we to be brilliant, beautiful, talented, and fabulous. But honestly, who are you to not be so?
You are a child of God, small games do not work in this world. For those around us to feel peace, it is not example to make ourselves small. We were born to express the glory of god that lives in us. It is not in some of us, it is in all of us. While we allow our light to shine, we unconsciously give permission for others to do the same. When we liberate ourselves from our own fears, simply our presence may liberate others.’
- Marianne Williamson in Return to Love: Reflections on a Course in Miracles

Just plain Tired

I guess the reasoning behind me blogging is to get my feelings out and deal with them..Not many people know about this blog of mine . I am probably going to say a few things that I should not...
I am sick of giving a crap !! I am really sick of feeling like the "other" woman! I know this sounds terrible but I have paid my dues! I am a strong woman with a very forcible opinion. I am selling all the goods in my house..I want my own things. I am really putting myself out here people so please no back stabbing me!
I have insecurity issues with Lyman and I always have. It is not him that does things he is just a niave man. I love him with all of my heart. I always have since I was 19! I want my own bed,dishes,flatware...etc....I had all of that stuff but I gave it up to move here...I still am not comfortable living in this house that I didnt buy. Mind you I have dealt with the sufferings of paying the mortgage and dealing with all the house things we women do alot longer than she did ! she was only here for 2 months!!!
I am Mad at myself for putting myself in this situation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHY didnt he ever buy me all these things? I mean we were married along time ..I think it is becuase material things really of no importance to me....but I do feel strange knowing that when use the salt shakers I didnt buy them or even pick them out!! THEY ARE NOT MY THINGS!
I have asked her to stop calling him and texting him...she doesnt have any connections to him except she is money hungry and thinks we are getting alot of money from the GOVERNMENT...HA HA HA that is a funny sentence ...He has to pay her 5000.00 for divorcing him...WHEN SHE spent all of his life savings and SHE LEFT HIM for really no good reason(took most of everything)plus he paid her the income tax last year ,becasue I wasnt even in the picture then for real!! SHe said it was becuase she had to live in my shadow....well darlin you think you would see the signs before you married him that he loved me....How many men keep all of their ex wifes rings including the wedding ones? Most dishes? pictures? blankets that were made love under many many times? alot of things! SO PLEASE it has been well over a year now...and they were only married a little over a year! SO dont freakin tell me when I ask you to leave him alone that when we get what little the gov is going to give us I personally will bring it or send it to your skanky butt that your going to come get YOUR things becuase GUESS what they are not your things they are his things !You want the bed we make love in come and get it!He does not really care and I cant tell him these thing becuase i am afraid to hurt his feelings. But she is a bitch and crawls under my skin that she even thinks that I could give a shit about her things? That is why he LOVES me and always has...he told me he was happy when I came back becuase he could stop trying to replace me! I am ready to move back to Texas so that I can work and make my own money..be that confident woman again, instead of this shell of a woman that doesnt give a care anymore.I am NOT the other woman and never have been ...YOU were!
I am really a nice person, quiet and usualy gentle until you piss me off! SO STAND BACK!
ALL I WANT IS TO MOVE FORWARD WITH OUR LIVES AND YOU TO BACK OUT OF OURS! YOU HAVE NO PLACE HERE ANYMORE SO AUSTA BITCH!