Friday, February 22, 2008

Just plain Tired

I guess the reasoning behind me blogging is to get my feelings out and deal with them..Not many people know about this blog of mine . I am probably going to say a few things that I should not...
I am sick of giving a crap !! I am really sick of feeling like the "other" woman! I know this sounds terrible but I have paid my dues! I am a strong woman with a very forcible opinion. I am selling all the goods in my house..I want my own things. I am really putting myself out here people so please no back stabbing me!
I have insecurity issues with Lyman and I always have. It is not him that does things he is just a niave man. I love him with all of my heart. I always have since I was 19! I want my own bed,dishes,flatware...etc....I had all of that stuff but I gave it up to move here...I still am not comfortable living in this house that I didnt buy. Mind you I have dealt with the sufferings of paying the mortgage and dealing with all the house things we women do alot longer than she did ! she was only here for 2 months!!!
I am Mad at myself for putting myself in this situation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHY didnt he ever buy me all these things? I mean we were married along time ..I think it is becuase material things really of no importance to me....but I do feel strange knowing that when use the salt shakers I didnt buy them or even pick them out!! THEY ARE NOT MY THINGS!
I have asked her to stop calling him and texting him...she doesnt have any connections to him except she is money hungry and thinks we are getting alot of money from the GOVERNMENT...HA HA HA that is a funny sentence ...He has to pay her 5000.00 for divorcing him...WHEN SHE spent all of his life savings and SHE LEFT HIM for really no good reason(took most of everything)plus he paid her the income tax last year ,becasue I wasnt even in the picture then for real!! SHe said it was becuase she had to live in my shadow....well darlin you think you would see the signs before you married him that he loved me....How many men keep all of their ex wifes rings including the wedding ones? Most dishes? pictures? blankets that were made love under many many times? alot of things! SO PLEASE it has been well over a year now...and they were only married a little over a year! SO dont freakin tell me when I ask you to leave him alone that when we get what little the gov is going to give us I personally will bring it or send it to your skanky butt that your going to come get YOUR things becuase GUESS what they are not your things they are his things !You want the bed we make love in come and get it!He does not really care and I cant tell him these thing becuase i am afraid to hurt his feelings. But she is a bitch and crawls under my skin that she even thinks that I could give a shit about her things? That is why he LOVES me and always has...he told me he was happy when I came back becuase he could stop trying to replace me! I am ready to move back to Texas so that I can work and make my own that confident woman again, instead of this shell of a woman that doesnt give a care anymore.I am NOT the other woman and never have been ...YOU were!
I am really a nice person, quiet and usualy gentle until you piss me off! SO STAND BACK!

1 comment:

NeOHippy said...

Okay so I vented in this post!! I have since told my husband how I was feeling and things have been taken care of. I try to be nice to everyone all of the time! this was not a side of me that I like but it will remain a post.