LIKE TESTing Testing 123

TESTING ,TESTING....While testing the waters with the medicine I am feeling a little better today! I took it last night before bedtime . Only problem with that was I woke up at 4 am kinda groggy but nothing like those first few days I took it during the day.
Noticing I see things clearer than before..less glazed look!
My heart isn't as heavy and I am more laid back...I mean I haven't sweep the floors twenty times yet today! Don't know if that is GOOD is BAD BAD....I like a clean house! 
I am smiling and laughing more!!!!    Thank God!
ALSO, that I have a lost appetite BUT feel my tummy growl so I eat and that is good so I eat more! WHAT? lol Think I might gain some weight .FOR REAL like I need that!!  Anywhoooooooooooo just an update for anyone listening to the voices in my head!

Whoa Down!

WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!

So , since we have last talked in my head, I have got some meds. YUCK they make me feel happy inside but YUCKY all over! Drowsy, Nauseous, a little Dizzy,loss of appetite(yea). Which is worse? I do not know yet , but I will let you know! we may have to change meds. Citolapram is the medicine anyone else taking this?

My mind ,heart and soul! Dealing with depression!

Everything on the outside is perfectly happy! I have spent the last few years realizing the people around you can only help you achieve happiness NOT make you happy!

I have fought and battled depression for many years ..since I was a teen. I go through various stages of depression some more severe than others. God has helped me in so many ways to deal with it ,but I feel this time I am having an even worse time "shaking" this bout.

EVERYthing  else in my life is wonderful! Great God, Great husband and Great family. SO WHY CAN I NOT FEEL HAPPY INSIDE?

  

My mind, heart and soul feel so heavy some days!

I have tried so hard this time to not revert to medication, but I am leaning that way again. Every three to four years I have these periods of depression. I have taken meds 3 times in my life... I have to return to it..get straightened out chemically , then I will be fine for a few years! Why do I torture myself to deal with my depression? BECAUSE we Americans over medicate! You can rarely get me to take tylenol!

 This depression that I feel bleeds over into my family life I know!! I try so hard to be Happy, Smile , Laugh and adjust . I am getting so tired ,sleepy and want to cry all the time! FOR NO REASON!!!  This is one the most honest blogs!  Many people try to hide it! I am finally embracing it and going to get it taken care of!  God knows I have tried other methods! Please pray for me !! I am almost excited to see what can become of this..will I become the "OLD" me  or is it to late? Maybe this is the big one ! ARGGGGG!

Wacky Cake and Crazy fun nephews!

This recipe belonged to, Leona Headlee, who was just as wacky as this cake!  Lyman's Grandma Leona left him with many memories and now I hope to pass them on!This recipe is one that if your in a hurry and have NO EGGS ,you can throw this together and it is delicious!!! ENJOY this crazy insane wacky cake!

                      WACKY CAKE

1 1/2 cup flour
1 cup + 2 TBS sugar
6 TBS cocoa powder
1 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt 
Sift all these ingredients into a bowl or 8 inch cake pan
Next: Add to dry ingredients
1/4 cup oil
1 TBS vinegar
2 tsp vanilla
                                                                          Then mix in 1 cup of water

                                                                          Oven 350 degrees for 25 minutes or until done


Today is Jace's  birthday so we made some cooky wacky cupcakes!!

Rylan and Jace ! Jace has his mouth full of wacky cake!

A lot of colorful fun!

My Yellow Rose!

 

My Yellow Rose of a MOM!

Today is my mom's birthday! Yea her!! I am writing this blog just for her.

Many times has she shined ! My mom is a light from God in this world. My mom has done a lot of transforming over the years and adapted to many things happening in her life. Mom is a survivor even in the biggest droughts. She has taught us how to be one as well. If I can say one things about her that is the biggest and best is that no matter what she has always loved us and always will until her last breath.
Mom ,reminds me of a yellow rose! She is bright,delicate,fancy and delightful, but try to break her off her stem and she will poke you with her thorns! She brings joy to me when she is around . She did the best with what she had and I think we all turned out pretty well!! I miss you mom and love you!! Have an AMAZING birthday!!

To Home school or not to Home school ?

To Home school or not to Home school that is the question?

We are thinking about Home Schooling Abbi and Lyman.  They have some really great programs here that would suit them great. Abbi has always been a mediocre  student BUT is smarter than she lets on and does not like to do the work that leads to the test that leads to passing . Lyman ,He is a good student no complaints really . Never have we based  their educational value on their grades .
 We (I mean I) am constantly battling with Abbi about her grades. I feel that if I have to be such a watch dog over her and the grades that I might as well be the one making sure she is doing her work and taking her tests. By no means are we wanting her to have an easy out . These programs they offer are tough and  very time consuming!

My life long goal has always to been get my children through high school and on to a higher education. I do not want them to have to constantly fight and battle in the crazy world like we have had to do. What kind of an example have  we been if we cant even get her to keep her grades up now there is probably no way she will go to college. Argg mental and physical frustration  has over taken me. SO I am laying it in God's hands. Praying, praying, praying and more praying!

I just need some input from both sides of the fence. I am not asking for arguments or a huge debate.

Homemade fabric softner(cheap)

Homemade fabric softener

This recipe has been working well! I thought vinegar in softner? what? But it really does make your clothes fresh and soft.

Here is the recipe:
64 oz bottle

3 cups of your favorite hair conditioner(cheap suave)
3 cups of vinegar
6 cups water

Mix and use just like you would store bought softner

Peanut Butter Heavenly Dimple Cupcakes

For you Georgie!

You take a regular chocolate cake mix , Mix as directed. Put in Bundt pan or Baby bundt cupcake pan. Bake as Directed.

Peanut Butter FROSTING: Any peanut butter will do!

1 Cup PB heated in Microwave for about 45 sec.
1/2 cup butter into melted PB
1 Cup powered sugar mixed into that Mixture
2 TBS of milk give or take

Pour over cake ! This is SO YUMMY !!!